Change: Friend or Enemy?

Change is inevitable because life is about change. It’s normal to fear change but the key to a thriving life is to not let it paralyse you. Make change your friend, not your enemy.

Read on to find how Stela handled her latest professional change and discover her list of 6 helpful tips you can use to make your change easier and less frustrating. 

When you are finished changing, you are finished.

Benjamin Franklin

After 14 years in a multinational company learning and growing in several roles, I was ready to make a change.

For the first time, I experienced a coaching relationship that actually inspired me to become a coach afterwards.

Was I afraid to make a change? Of course!

Did I know how it will be? No, I could just imagine or hope for the best.

At the same time answering the proper questions and looking at this change from different angles, made me more comfortable.


How I prepared for my change

It was a big change.

I was about to step out of a world in which I thought I would spend the rest of my life, with people that I knew, with familiar processes, environment, a world in which I felt secure.

A lot of questions were popping up in my mind:

Will I be able to earn enough money to have the same standard of living?

Will people judge me for this change?

How will this affect my relationship with my family and friends?

Will I adapt quickly?

Will I feel I am useful enough for society and will my work have a visible impact?

It took me almost half a year to get prepared for this change and during this time I had the privilege to work with a coach that guided me through this decision-making journey, which really helped me to figure out the right way.

Finally, I came to the conclusion that it’s not about money or other’s opinion, it’s really about what is it I want to do further with my professional life and what is giving me the feeling of accomplishment.

[bctt tweet=”Stela Toderascu on #change: It’s not about money or other people’s opinion; it’s really about what it is you want in your professional life and what gives you the feeling of accomplishment.” username=”brand_minds “]

So, I did it. I followed the 4-month Systemic Coaching course held by Alain Cardon, a well-known Master Certified Coach, speaker, trainer and author.

After hundreds of hours of practice with colleagues, I had the chance to work with real clients and get the Associate Certified Coach accreditation from the International Coaching Federation. It is a dream which came true in less than one year.

So, after this experience, I can say loudly: no matter how hard it seems, if you really want something and you are open to change, you can do it!


Change is different for everyone

Based on each of your experiences you can judge if it’s an easy or a hard step to make.

Imagine that for some people moving from one desk to another in the same office, means a big change, and it can affect their job performance, relationship with colleagues and overall engagement.

The fear of change or changing things is called Metathesiophobia. The fear of change is evolutionary in humans. Since times immemorial, man has liked routine. Our internal predispositions (heredity and genetics) teach us to resist change mainly to ‘always feel in control’. But the normal fear of change becomes a full-blown phobia when it is irrational, persistent and very intense.


Each person has its tolerance towards change. It’s great when it’s you who decides to make a change and you can prepare thoroughly for it, analyze all the possibilities and then just embrace it when you are ready, without any regrets.

What about changes that occur suddenly, that take you by surprise and out of your comfort zone? Can you prepare for that?

There are some challenges that you can choose from that would take you out of your comfort zone and it might be easier for you next time when a change takes you by surprise.

Matt Cutts, the former head of search quality at Google is supportive of trying something new for 30 days. Watch him talk about his challenges in this short TED Talk:

6 helpful tips to make your change easier

When an unexpected change occurs each of us goes through a process of denial, rage or frustration, exploration and just after that we could finally accept the change. This process can be shorter or longer depending on the impact of the change we are facing and our willingness to move forward.

When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny.

Paulo Coelho, ‘The Devil and Miss Prym’

So, what could actually help you to get through a change easier?

Let me share with you my list of 6 tips which proved helpful for me:

1. Get as many details as you can

First and foremost, try to get as many details as you can so you can analyze the change with full awareness and so “the unknown” we all fear becomes more familiar.

After getting all the details, answer the following questions:

2. What are the positive parts/outcomes of this change?

Even if anytime a change occurs it’s the negative things coming to your mind first, changing the perspective with positively oriented questions really helps to get out of the frustration area faster.

3. How can I, my family, my team, or my company benefit from this change?

Doesn’t matter how dramatic the change sounds or looks, there is always something that could transform it into an opportunity.

4. What can I do to make the impact even more positive?

There must be something which with the help of your skills can become even better or have a bigger impact. Maybe your communication skills could help you pass on the news to your colleagues or family in a friendly manner, which could help overcome the unnecessary frustrations.

5. Who can help/support me on this journey?

A partner is always welcomed to help you to achieve your goal faster and help you to discover other options/opportunities.

6. What are the steps to be followed to ensure a successful transition?

A plan, as simple as it is, is always helpful to be clear regarding the steps and tracking the results.

After all, it might be that from an initially frustrating, threatening and unwanted change you can turn out to be the hero of the day   .

Good luck with embracing the change, world changers!

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